The Zombie Bible

I stumbled across this rather large undertaking the other day called The Zombie Bible. It is a public domain project where users can “modify” the Bible to include zombies. Really, really entertaining. I took an hour of my day and re-wrote the story of Samson. For your entertainment you may read through the links below. Also sign up and add your own zombies to the bible.

Samson Zombified part 1 – Judges Chapter 14
Samson Zombified part 2 – Judges Chapter 15
Samson Zombified part 3 – Judges Chapter 16

Though many have completely altered the text i opted to attempt as much as possible to preserve the original wording, feel and flow of the text and change certain components of the story to accommodate Zombies.

Here is a taste:

14:1 And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a zombie woman therein feasting on the daughters of the Philistines.

14:2 And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said,I have seen a zombie woman in Timnath feasting on the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife.

14:3 Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the zombies who eat Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well.

14:4 But his father and his mother knew not that it was of the LORD Zombie, that he sought an occasion against the Philistines: for at that time the Philistines had dominion over Zombies.

14:5 Then went Samson down, and his father and his mother, to Timnath, and came to the vineyards of Timnath: and, behold, a young zombie roared against him.

14:6 And the Spirit of the LORD Zombie came mightily upon him, and he was rent by the zombie as he would have rent a kid, and he had nothing in his hand: and he was rent and through his renting Samson himself too became a zombie, he told not his father or his mother what he had happened.

14:7 And he went down, and talked with the zombie woman; and she pleased Samson well.

14:8 And after a time he returned to take her, and he turned aside to see the carcass of the daughters: and, behold, there was a swarm of bees and honey in the carcass of the daughters.

Fun stuff to be sure

~AP~